im drinking this country out of the recession.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
