what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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