no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
