Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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