pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
