This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
