Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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