Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
