All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
