i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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