I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
