you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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