He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize