If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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