I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
