drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
pop tarts are not kleenex
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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