My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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