Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
okay pat passed out under dana's car
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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