I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
