farters have to be the big spoon...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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