Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
