Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
