let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
