dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
