so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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