I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
