I bet he comes in French.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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