I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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