ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
All the doctor said was why
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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