I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
