I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
its not stalking. its research.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
