she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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