I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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