yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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