He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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