i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
