I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
