My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
