false alarm. still invincible.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
