But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think your dad took our porno
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
