You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
