Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
