i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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