Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
