Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
