We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
