Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
