People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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