We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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