Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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