p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
