He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
