I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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