oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's official drugs can't kill me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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