I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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