I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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