I wanna bring you to show and tell
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize