Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
