Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
