final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
