I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
