Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
